In my college days, there was a song that my then admirer (who later became my husband) sang with his quartet. The first line was, “A motherless child sure finds it hard when mother is gone.” At times I wonder if there is a song somewhere that says, “A childless mother sure finds it hard when her child is gone.”
Mrs. Job lost not just one child, but ten children in one day (Job 1: 13 – 22). However strong, to receive such devastating news would tear any mother’s heart to pieces. How does one survive an experience of such monumental proportions? In one fell swoop Mrs. Job had no one to call her mother. It is just hard to imagine how any mother could carry on with life, after having had such a calamitous experience.
If Mother’s Day was celebrated back then, Mrs. Job would cease getting flowers, hugs, kisses, homemade cards and lovingly prepared meals from her children. Mother’s Day is a challenging celebration for any woman who has experienced the death of her child. She may feel guilt-ridden and may even question her claim to motherhood if she has no other children. However, a mother’s love for her departed child never dies nor does her motherhood.
Mother’s Day is one of the many triggers that remind a mother who has lost a child, or all her children, of the milestones that will never happen, the smiles she will never see, the hugs she will never experience. At the same time, in foods, sounds, colors and scents that bring back to her happy memories of her child or children, the experience can be as tangible as for other mothers.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day, let us remember those mothers in our community who have lost their children. We could say to those mothers, “I remember what an amazing mother you were to your child” or “I am thinking of you on Mother’s Day.” Any gesture, however small, will let them know that you care about them and affirm their motherhood.
This life brings with it many painful experiences, such as losing our children prematurely, but we can hold to the promise that one day there will be the ‘mother of all reunions,’ when mothers (and fathers) will see their departed children again and feel the warmth of their embrace. Reflecting on events at the second coming of Jesus, Ellen White wrote, “. . . Children separated [by death] are borne by angels to their mother’s arms [and] are united never more to part, and with songs of gladness ascend together to the city of God. . .” (The Great Controversy, 645).
On this special weekend when we honor mothers, let us take time to remember and recognize those mothers in our community whose loss is poignant. Some have lost their children to COVID, some to gun violence, some to accidents, some to natural causes and some to other causes. We are not able to replace their loss, but we can affirm their motherhood.
“And God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order has passed away.” (Rev 21:4 NIV).
Remembering you all on Mother’s Day.