You know how sometimes you hear a song and it sticks in your heard in seemingly endless audio loop? The haunting anthem,” I Heard the Voice of Jesus Say” by Horatius Bonar has been playing in my head for several months now. It plays regularly on my Pandora playlist—and I always stop what I’m doing and prayerfully listen. What’s more, I find myself thinking about the words of this song, reflecting on its meaning.
In the first stanza Jesus says, Come unto me and rest. Lay down, O weary one, lay down your head upon my breast.” This always make me think of the summer I became a Christian. I was indeed “weary and worn and sad”. My beloved father almost died of a massive heart attack that summer. Our brand-new pastor was set to leave on vacation that morning when he received a call that my dad was in critical condition. Although he did not know our family, he came to be with us, to pray, to attest to Christ. That pastor’s decision to come and comfort our family had a profound impact on my life. While I was raised in a Christian family—I had no idea the changes this decision to follow Christ would bring.
That was a lifetime ago. My spiritual journey has taken many twists and turns over the years. The most profound of these ‘spiritual jaunts’ led me to Sligo Church and a deeper understanding of scripture. Like many of you, the promises of my youth have given way to a more subtle deepening commitment to Him. Still, it is the third stanza of this anthem that brings me up short. In part it says, “My thirst was quenched, my soul revived, and now I live in him.” This leaves me asking myself this crucial question: who am I in Christ? Do I truly live in Him? I will tell you this, my sisters and brothers: I am not where I want to be! In fact, I fall short on a regular (daily??!) basis!
Still, I hear Him call, bidding me to try again. Reminding me of his Presence. Telling me He’s with me. Always, He’s with me. I wish I was better at discerning—and heeding—His presence. Alas, I am headstrong and stiff necked. Yet, I have come to understand that faith is not a destination, but a journey. It’s a never-ending journey—full of surprises. A journey I willingly take.
Here’s a link to a nice rendition of the song.